冷笑話：南海血書

南海血書

我再也支持不下去了：這些年來我看夠了各式各樣慘絕人寰的死亡，對我來說，死已算不了什麼大事。只是滿腔悲憤，一肚子委屈，不傾吐出來，實在嚥不下這口氣。在南海中一個不知名的珊瑚礁上，我脫下襯衫，用螺螄尖蘸著自己身上僅餘的鮮血來寫這封信。

我不知道該寫給誰？寫給天主吧？天主當吳廷琰被殺的時候就捨棄了越南子民；寫給佛祖吧？佛祖在和尚自焚的日子就已經自身難保了；寫給當年口口聲聲為我們爭自由謀幸福的民主鬥士吧？民主鬥士正在巴黎、倫敦、紐約忙著礎受自由幸福；寫給出錢出力硬逼著我們享受民主人權的偉大盟邦吧？偉大盟邦早已判決我們罪有應得又到別處去耍他們的老把戲去了。

寫給我自己的親人吧？我一家至親十一口：大哥死於越戰砲火之中；文斗姪兒在解放前一場暴動中為流彈所殺；九十三歲的老祖母和七歲的文媛姪女解放後在人民政府的照顧下活活餓死；一輩子絕口不談政治的父親在鬥爭大會上被一棒一棒地打死；二哥在集中營裏因忍不佳飢餓偷吃了一口番薯被綁赴刑場槍決；大嫂因莫須有的罪名庾死獄中；母親上船時被匪幹推下海裏淹死；妻在海上被海盜射殺；文星兒和我一同游泳來到這個珊瑚礁上，熬到第十三天就在萬般痛苦中死了，他的屍體被同來的難友吃了，吃他肉的難友也都死了。海天茫茫，如今我寫給誰呢？

我一家至親十一口都死在共匪暴政之下，你一定以為我恨透了這不共戴天的血海深仇，是的，我恨透了他們！復仇的烈火支持著我才能忍受這麼大的痛苦折磨。但是我還有更痛恨的仇人。吃人的老虎固然可恨，但是把別人送往老虎口裏的那個人更可恨；燒死人的火坑固然可怕，但是推別人下火坑的那個人更可怕；咬死人的毒蛇固然歹毒，但是把毒蛇放進你被窩裏的那個人比毒蛇更歹毒。是誰把我們送往老虎口裏？是誰把我們推下火坑？是誰把毒蛇放進我們的被窩裏？是他！就是他！是那些民主鬥士和偉大盟邦。…… (以下內容太悽慘，故略過。)

越打砲聲離西貢越近，行政效率更加顢頇，官吏再加貪污，人權更沒有保障。一次一次的政變，大使館裏一次一次傳出阮文紹下台，共產黨不來的天憲，無休無止的苦難一齊落到越南人民的頭上。偉大的盟友掉過頭來與虎謀皮，用越南幾千萬人民的生命換取諾貝爾和平獎金。一九七五年四月越南人民的末日終於來了。當初鬥士們要我們相信他一切都是為了我們好，保證絕對不會砸鍋沉船，他自己也在船上，他自己也從同一個鍋裏吃飯，他說的可真漂亮：船沉了，不管坐頭等艙或二等艙，都要淹死。我們當時竟傻得信以為真。後來船真的沉了，才發覺頭等艙裏還有直升飛機。看來我們真像他說的永遠只有十三歲。

盟友光榮勝利同國了，鬥士飛往巴黎、倫敦、紐約去逍遙自在去了。越南淪陷後的悲慘日子，說出來他們也不屑聽。誰願意冒險犯難雜鄉背井？誰願意到陌生的國度去被人家往海裏推？誰願意漂流到荒島上來吃自己愛子的肉？電線桿倘若有腳，電線桿也必設法逃出鐵幕。

在這孤島上我已撐持了四十二天了。叫天！天不應！喚地！地不靈！海天茫茫，有誰聽見我的呼喚？觀世音菩薩！耶穌基督！穆罕默德！太上老君！你們聽著：我好恨啊！我恨那些把我們送往虎口、推向火坑、把毒蛇放進我們被窩的鬥士、盟友，讓我活著咬他一口，死也甘心！

阮天仇絕筆

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歡迎陳雲林之晶華篇_鎮暴部隊與民眾：


門打開、阮顧厝


延伸閱讀：
熱烈歡迎陳領導雲林同志蒞臨指導：對臺工作成果報告
李筱峰教授：三隻鱷魚與三條硬漢
維基百科：南海血書
早上收到南海血書

Since May 16, 2010:

7-11 Party/賢明門市開運慈善音樂會

7-11 Party/賢明門市開運慈善音樂會

December 26, 2009

A 7-11 in Kaohsiung, Taiwan held an outdoor concert/charity auction on the street in front of the store. The artists are young ladies and gentlemen from the neighbourhood.




This stage is a relative of the following transformer:
呆得粉口愛滴Open舞： Donations from good neighbours/好厝邊們捐獻的義賣品： Backstage: Console for the projector: 紀子涵綠鋼琴： 郭芯妤： 胡茗雯-卡巴烈夫斯基小奏鳴曲/白色情侶： 任思倩 - 水邊的阿地麗娜、夢中的婚禮 指揮交通： 海角七號配樂配阿明跟大姐不用裝就粉口愛滴大頭： 陳雅婷－蕭邦/夢幻即興曲： 林冠朋－愛的克麗斯汀： 楊子瑀-古老的大鐘： 手語歌： 李狄擎－龍貓： 檢視較大的地圖 Since May 7, 2010:

青木堂

以下摘自金庸鹿鼎記：

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眾香主散后，陳近南拉了韋小寶的手，回到廂房之中，說道：“北京天橋上有一個賣膏藥的老頭兒，姓徐。別人賣膏藥的旗子上，膏藥都是黑色的，這徐老兒的膏藥卻是一半紅、一半青。你要有可跟我聯絡，到天橋去找徐老兒便是。你問他：『有沒有清惡毒、便盲眼復明的清毒復明膏藥？』他說：『有是有，價錢太貴，要三兩黃金，三兩白銀。』你說：『五兩黃金，五兩白銀賣不賣？』他便知道你是誰了。”
韋小寶大感有趣，笑道：“人家貨价三兩，你卻還價五兩，天下哪有這樣的事？”
陳近南微笑道：“這是唯恐誤打誤撞，真有人向他去買『清毒復明膏藥』。他一聽你還價黃金五兩，白銀五兩，便問：『為什麼價錢這樣貴？』你說：『不貴，不貴，只要當真復得了明，便給你做牛做馬，也是不貴。』他便說：『地振高岡，一派溪山千古秀。』你說：『門朝大海，三河合水萬年流。』他又問：『紅花亭畔哪一堂？』你說：『青木堂。』他問：『堂上燒幾柱香？』你說：『五柱香。』燒五柱香便是香主。他是本會青木堂的兄弟，屬你該管。你有什麼事，可以交他辦。”

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以上摘自金庸鹿鼎記

以下攝於臺灣高雄市街頭：


Since May 12, 2010:

TaKao City Park/打狗都會公園

KaohsiungTa-Kao City Park/高雄打狗都會公園

December 26, 2009
2009年12月26日

Sun Dial/日晷





It was about 10:35./當時大約是10:35









檢視較大的地圖

延伸閱讀：

• 爲打狗正名
• Takao is Freaking Hot

Since May 5, 2010:

TaKao City Park/打狗都會公園

KaohsiungTa-Kao City Park/高雄打狗都會公園

December 26, 2009
2009年12月26日

Sun Dial/日晷





It was about 10:35./當時大約是10:35









檢視較大的地圖

延伸閱讀：

• 爲打狗正名
• Takao is Freaking Hot

Since May 5, 2010:

Water Power/水力

Water Power/水力

Sa Pa, Lao Cai, Viet Nam, October 20, 2009
2009年10月20日，越南老街沙壩

I guess these are the mechenism for removing the shell from the grain of rice.
我猜這是舂米用的。






Related Article/延伸閱讀：
Wind Power/風鼓

Since 2010/07/05:

Taiwanese Hand Puppet Show

Before the invasion of movies, TV, and Internet, the big entertainment in Taiwan are hand puppet show and Taiwanese Opera. The stages are set in the court yard of Daoist/Buddist temples. In addition to regular festivals, sometimes, some rich people would sponsor the shows as a token of gratitude to Gods. In those temples, as people beg the Gods to grant them their wishes, they would also promised the Gods in advance the "price". The most comment way are sponsoring the shows. There have been unconventional ways, such as playing a beggar for one day.

After the introduction of the idiot box, both shows migrate to the stage over the radio waves. Once the hand puppet show became so popular the KMT government banned the show, claiming it affected the "national" productivity.

The shows these days are truly for the Gods, as there are very few human audiences. The performer becomes lazy. Back in those good old days, in addition to live bands, there are also special effects in the back stage. I had seen folks banging gun power to simulate the sound of punches. These days, most of the hand puppet shows plays tapes instead.

The following clip was taken in the evening of the Moon Festival in 2009. There were only one audience other than I.


Since 2010/07/06:

Sung Than Cong: Bite Me! Encore/阮朝的天子之劍

Sung Than Cong: Bite Me! Encore/阮朝的天子之劍

Citadel, Hue, Vietnam/越南順化阮朝故宮

根據這本旅遊指南第130頁：

「大砲 Sung Than Cong

城堡內放著9座的大砲，那是1803年時所造的，象徵四季節令，花費了1年才完成。東側的4個象徵四季，西側的5個為意味著金、木、水、火、土的中國五行思想。砲台上還刻有其典故。」

According to the guide book above, on page 130, it reads:

"Cannon Sung Than Cong

There are 9 cannons inside the citadel. They were built in 1803, symbolizing the four seasons. It took one year to build. The four cannons at the east symbolizes the four seasons, the five at the west the Chinese five elements: metal, wood, water, fire, and earth. The reference is engraved at the base."

當我逛到這裡時已是黃昏，天色漸暗。我只有時間看「四時」，來不及看「五行」。我沒看到砲台，但是我知道這九座砲的典故：「裹以四時」「制以五行」典出莊子雜篇說劍。阮皇自詡為天子，這九座砲是他的「天子之劍」。

It was dusk when I found these cannons. I only had time for the "four seaons", but not the "five elements." I did not find the base, but I recognize the reference. This is another defiant middle finger to China. Another claim to the throne of the world.

The reference is from a story from a Chinese Daoist book: Zhuang Zi (aka Chuang Tzu). Some scholars suspect that that chapter was faked by later folks. In that story, there was a war lord who appreciated the art of fencing. He had swordsmen dueling at his court days and nights. The casualty was mounting, and the country weaken. The crown prince seek councel from a Daoist philosopher: Zhuang Zi. He told the lord that he had three swords to offer. One was for the Heavenly Child (King of the World) another for war lords, and the other for peasants. He managed to convince the war lord by questioning him why he wield the peasants' sword while he had the chance to wield the Heavenly Child's. His description to the Heavenly Child's swords included "wrapped in the four seasons" and "controled by the five elements."

The Vietnamese emperor was proclaiming these nine cannons were parts of his "sword" of Heavenly Child by naming his cannons as "four seaons" and "five elements."



The weight of this cannon












Inside the barrel/砲口內



Related Article/延伸閱讀：
Bite Me!/九鼎：咬我啊！

Since May 15, 2010: