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Tuesday 30 March 2010

瞧得起臺灣人,看不起中華民國

瞧得起臺灣人,看不起中華民國:載於2010年三月三十一日自由時報

三月26日,楊劉秀華女士地位未定的悲哀文中提到「現在台灣地位未定,在國際上被人看不起,」我的看法正好相反。我覺得臺灣人在國際間相當受尊敬。文明國家無不盡其所能地展現對臺灣人的尊重。被人瞧不起的,是中華民國這個偽政權。

中華民國的流亡政府自李宗仁逃亡美國就已經滅亡。蔣介石毫無法理基礎地「復行視事」,根本就是個比偽滿洲國還偽的偽政權。加上中華民國已經被中華人民共和國所取代,因此中華民國的「存在」根本就是個國共內戰留下的爛攤子。這塊山寨招牌,教世界各國如何尊重得起?

文明國家很願意尊重臺灣人。但是法治的國家,必需尊重國際法,因此無「法」尊重中華民國這塊爛招牌。臺灣人有多受人尊重?數一數地球上對臺灣人實施免簽證及落地簽的國家就知道了。中華人民共和國號稱已經崛起。包括他們的邦交國在內,有幾個國家給他們免簽證、落地簽?給臺灣人免簽證、落地簽的國家裏甚至包括無邦交國家。頂著塊山寨招牌,還能得到這種待遇,可見文明國家對臺灣人的尊重。

明明是匹舉世聞名的千里馬,卻硬要自認是頭驢,那就怪不了人家不讓我們參加賽馬。不被承認,不被尊重的,是中華民國這塊爛招牌,是現在的臺灣人自己選擇要頂的;一如八八風災的國際援助,是外交部自己「婉拒」的。因此而不受尊重,是臺灣人自取其辱。我想:要是我們捐棄中華民國這塊爛招牌,加入中華人民共和國,在國際間,就可以受到跟中華人民共和國一樣的尊重了。我是比較笨啦!想不出除了統一之外還能怎麼辦了。您比較聰明,您倒是說說看我們該咋辦呢?

延伸閱讀:


詹宏達 天佑台灣:


詹宏達 化作千風:


詹宏達-台北新故鄉:


海角七號 操你媽的台北:

瞧得起臺灣人,看不起中華民國

瞧得起臺灣人,看不起中華民國:載於2010年三月三十一日自由時報

三月26日,楊劉秀華女士地位未定的悲哀文中提到「現在台灣地位未定,在國際上被人看不起,」我的看法正好相反。我覺得臺灣人在國際間相當受尊敬。文明國家無不盡其所能地展現對臺灣人的尊重。被人瞧不起的,是中華民國這個偽政權。

中華民國的流亡政府自李宗仁逃亡美國就已經滅亡。蔣介石毫無法理基礎地「復行視事」,根本就是個比偽滿洲國還偽的偽政權。加上中華民國已經被中華人民共和國所取代,因此中華民國的「存在」根本就是個國共內戰留下的爛攤子。這塊山寨招牌,教世界各國如何尊重得起?

文明國家很願意尊重臺灣人。但是法治的國家,必需尊重國際法,因此無「法」尊重中華民國這塊爛招牌。臺灣人有多受人尊重?數一數地球上對臺灣人實施免簽證及落地簽的國家就知道了。中華人民共和國號稱已經崛起。包括他們的邦交國在內,有幾個國家給他們免簽證、落地簽?給臺灣人免簽證、落地簽的國家裏甚至包括無邦交國家。頂著塊山寨招牌,還能得到這種待遇,可見文明國家對臺灣人的尊重。

明明是匹舉世聞名的千里馬,卻硬要自認是頭驢,那就怪不了人家不讓我們參加賽馬。不被承認,不被尊重的,是中華民國這塊爛招牌,是現在的臺灣人自己選擇要頂的;一如八八風災的國際援助,是外交部自己「婉拒」的。因此而不受尊重,是臺灣人自取其辱。我想:要是我們捐棄中華民國這塊爛招牌,加入中華人民共和國,在國際間,就可以受到跟中華人民共和國一樣的尊重了。我是比較笨啦!想不出除了統一之外還能怎麼辦了。您比較聰明,您倒是說說看我們該咋辦呢?

延伸閱讀:


詹宏達 天佑台灣:


詹宏達 化作千風:


詹宏達-台北新故鄉:


海角七號 操你媽的台北:

Monday 29 March 2010

Elephant Dental Clinic/大象牙醫診所

Elephant Dental Clinic/大象牙醫診所

I do not suppose they fix ivory, eh?

不知道他們修不修象牙?


檢視較大的地圖

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改賣鴨肉羹(Wu's Family Braised Pork Rice/吳家滷肉飯)

Wu's Family Braised Pork Rice/吳家滷肉飯
改賣鴨肉羹
食記待補。

評等:朝聖
Rating: Pilgrimage

Business Hours: Roughly 16:00-04:00
營業時間:大約是16:00-04:00

Braised pork rice is one of the famous Taiwanese specialities. This is the best one I have had so far.

I was reluctant to try this place at first. They are slightly more expensive then other places. The visit has been a very pleasant surprise. Their braised meat is made from pork thighs instead of ordinary minced meat. The homemade pickled veggies are also nice. In addition to la carte, there are cold cuts in the display window you can order by pointing.

At least one of their staffs speaks English.

滷肉飯是臺灣特色小吃。這家是我吃過最好的。

本來不大想去試這家的,因為有點小貴。結果是大大的驚喜。非常好吃。貴得有理。她們家的滷肉是用蹄膀做的,不是一般的碎肉。她家自己做的榨菜也很不錯吃。

子曾經曰過:「知之者不如好之者,好之者不如樂之者。」吳媽媽就是個愛煮菜的「樂之者」。有些菜太厚工,賣起來不夠本。常客要是剛好碰上吳媽媽技癢,就有好康可以A。

The hostess enjoy cooking. Some dishes require too much work to justify its place on the regular menu. If you visit there frequent and lucky enough, you might be able to get to sample some of those dishes for free.

她們家有黃蘿蔔,可以跟她們要。

Yellow pickle is available upon request.

I over heard another customer praising their fried rice noodle. However, I have not yet had the chance to sample it myself.

偷聽到別的客人說她們的炒米粉好吃,可是我還沒逮著機會嚐。


俺A到的好康:油飯/The Freebie I got: Oil Sticky Rice

Hakka Rice Noodle/粄條


太座最愛肉燥飯:

Blog/部落格:Wu's Family Braised Pork Rice/吳家滷肉飯


View Larger Map

Address: No. 600, Ruìlóng Rd, Cianjhen District, Kaohsiung City, Taiwan 806
地址:高雄市前鎮區瑞隆路600號之6
Tel: +886-7-7219550 +886-920-647602 +886-939-914173

後記:
貼了這篇文後,電視新聞裡報說正確的寫法是「肉飯」而非「肉飯」她們家的扛棒做對了;我的蘋果裡的漢音輸入法錯了。

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Sunday 28 March 2010

(Feng) Sashimi/(豐)生魚片

Out of Business. Can't be reached by cell phone.
失蹤了。手機停機。

Rating: Dirt Cheap, Pilgrimage.
評等:投資報酬率破錶,朝聖。

Business Hours: From noon till evening. Whenever they run out of supplies.
營業時間:中午到黃昏賣完。

Host/頭家:莊文豐
Tel/電話:+886-973-009-434

I did not plan to visit this place at all. I just biked pass it, and noticed there were at least three sashimi stands on that block. Most of them were still loaded, except this particular stand had only two chucks of fish, and were packing up. That means two very good signs:
  1. They are so good that they run out of goods much earlier than everyone else.
  2. Fire sale.
So the host asked me how much I wanted? NT$100 or $200? I said $100. I also told him I prefer fatty pieces. So he took out this piece of tuna, and cut me this stripe at the edge of belly. His cut was parallel to the direction of the spine of the fish. That made me a loyal customer.
我本來沒打算試這家的。那天只是路過。看到一路上至少三家賣生魚片的,別家都還有不少存貨,就這家只剩兩塊魚。這代表兩件好事:
  1. 這家生意爆好:生意好的店,通常會重視商譽,永緒經營
  2. 清倉大減價
頭家問我要買多少?一百還是兩百?我說一百。還告訴他我喜歡吃肥一點的。他就一刀沿著鮪魚腹的邊緣,順著脊椎的方向給我切了一條。從此我就死忠了。


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Fulai Meat Dumpling/福來肉圓

Rating: Excellent Value, Pilgrimage
評等:物爆所值,朝聖。

頭家:呂再平
Tel/電話:+886-7-751-1903
Business Hours/營業時間:06:10-13:30
Address/地址:高雄市前鎮區崗山中街157號


檢視較大的地圖

This restaurant is almost a time capsule. Most stuff in this place is frozen in time, especially the price. Where else in Taiwan could you find a bowl of meat ball broth costing only NT$10 (about US$0.30)? Each meat dumpling is only NT$5. The lunch I just had, 8 dumplings and a meat ball broth, costed me NT$50. The flavour, as almost everything else in the restaurant, preserves flavour from the good old times. On the other hand, yes, the newspapers and calendars are up to date.

Their meat dumpling alone is rated 4th place on my list, next to the Oyster Donut place. Though Fulai's dumplings are larger and better seasoned, I prefer the texture from Oyster Donut. Their fillings contains larger chunks of pork. The fillings from Fulai are too fine, hence the texture is relatively tough.

這家店簡直像個時空隧道。幾乎每樣東西都很古老,包括價格在內。這年頭在臺灣上哪兒還找得著十塊錢一碗的摃丸湯啊?肉圓五圓一個。八個肉圓一碗湯。五十元解決一頓飯。跟店裡的其他東西一樣,味道也是古早味。提醒你今年是民國幾年的,只有報紙與月曆。

這家店在我的肉圓譜裡排第四,次於蚵嗲。福來的分量與口味雖然比蚵嗲的好,但是個人偏好蚵嗲那家的肉圓的口感。福來的內餡絞得較碎,因此口感較硬。個人偏好大顆粒。能用手工剁餡就更美了。不過人家一顆肉圓才賣五圓,我實在沒立場要求太高。

要先拿號碼牌,等叫號再點菜。我碰到兩位少年家,好容易等叫到他們時,其中一位興奮地枯瘦說:“著了!著了!要出運了!”另一位也隨聲附和。挺搞笑。


Traditionally, the tool of choice for making meat dumpling is a small bowl. This place use ice cream scoops to enhance the efficiency.
傳統做肉圓的工具是個小碗。這家改用冰淇淋勺來增加效率。


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"Szechuan" Style Beef Noodle/川味牛肉麵

"Szechuan" Style Beef Noodle/川味牛肉麵

Rating: Pilgrimage
評等:朝聖

Address/地址:800 Taiwan高雄市新興區忠孝一路93號
Tel/電話:+886-7-215-9119

Please check out this article on introduction to "Szechuan" Style Beef Noodle:
"Szechuan" Beef Noodle/川味牛肉麵
關於牛肉麵的介紹,請看上文。

前幾天去正山東魏家水煎包朝聖。屏東美女問起高雄美食,尤其是牛肉麵。本來我想推薦小王,但是有一次去吃了以後,突然覺得爆渴,懷疑他們放爆多味精。

A couple of days ago, I revisited Wei's Shandong Fried Bun. The lady from Pingdong asked me to recommend restaurants in Kaohsiung, in particular, beef noodles. I was about to recommend Xiao Wang, I had this thirst attack right after dinning there. I suspect I had overdose of MSG.

今天早上其實沒看到這家的招牌,反而看到隔壁掛牌子要川味牛肉麵的人客別把車停到他家前,這才找著的。這家原本在對面,他們自己說有二十多年的歷史。似乎是二十多年前頂下老先生的店的。我記得二十多年前在對面時,有掛告示說:“太鹹太辣可以換;加麵加湯不要錢。”現在沒看到那牌子了。現在的店面樸素而雅致。口味完全不辣,想來是要客人自己酌量加辣椒油。湯頭濃郁甘醇。令人回味無窮。

這家的牛肉麵是個人高雄最愛。



I missed their sign this morning. Instead, I caught the sign of neighbour asking their customers not to park in front of the neighbour's house. The staff claim their restaurant is over two decades old. I guess they took over the old owner's restaurant, which was established at least 30 years ago. I remember in the old days, there was a sign which read "Free exchange if you feel the broth is too salty or too spicy. Free extra noodle and broth." I did not see that sign this morning. The store is clean, neat, and simple. The broth is not at all spicy. I guess they are leaving guest to add spice by themselves these days. The broth is thick and tasty.

Their beef noodles is my favourite in the city of Kaohsiung.




檢視較大的地圖

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Saturday 27 March 2010

吳(無)牙醫診所

吳(無)牙醫診所
專治無牙?假/植牙專家?


檢視較大的地圖
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Thursday 25 March 2010

Home Grown Oven Baked Pizza/山寨窯烤披薩

Home Grown Oven Baked Pizza/山寨窯烤披薩

Rating: Unique Experience, Worth a Shot
評等:獨特體驗,值得一嚐。



In short, wood oven baked thin crust pizza made on the spot by the street of Taiwan.

This is not a cure for your craving for Italian thin crust pizza. At least, they are honest about it. Their sign states Shanzhai. In Chinese, it means "Mountain Fortress" of bandits. This phrase is used as "home grown" these days. It is prepared as pizza, it looks like a pizza, but it tastes nothing like Italian pizza. If you ever had pizza outside Italy, then you should give this pizza a shot. Consider it as your Taiwanese experience, if you ever had pizza outside Italy.

BTW, in Taiwan, if anyone ever tease you with stinky toufu, I would suggest tease them back with cheese. Remember to remind them them the scientific fact that the chemical composition of cheese is identical to the stuff that cause foot odour. Ordinary Taiwanese have very weak stomach for cheese. That said, please lower your expectation should you decide to sample this dish.

看起來很像意大利薄餅,但是嚐起來一點都不像。要說這是意大利薄餅,我肯定要翻桌。可是他們不但沒說這是意大利薄餅,更加注明這是山寨,因此就隨便他們玩了。那陣仗、外觀、做法完全是意大利薄餅的架勢。味道如何?既然這是全新的玩意兒,有品味的人自己說了算。起碼很好玩。

With Extra Cheese/有加多氣死

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Wednesday 24 March 2010

冷笑話:426

見鬼了!

昨天發表假高級 vs 真高尚:刺馬案 就看政府怎麼「辦」 一文,而訪問人次竟然不多不少剛好是426...


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假高級 vs 真高尚:刺馬案 就看政府怎麼「辦」

假高級 vs 真高尚:刺馬案 就看政府怎麼「辦」

原載於2010年3月22日自由時報

三月22日刺馬與刺耳一文中,朱達明先生點出了一個重點:「類似言論對台灣人不只是覺得刺耳而已,比刺馬還要更能撕裂族群、製造社會對立!」製造對立,到處放火,打烏賊戰正是國民黨流亡集團的一貫伎倆。從王清峰拒絕執行法定職責到臺北市拒付健保費,馬政府「違」法行事,一路走來,始終如一。這一切都無非是要破壞臺灣社會的民主法治。

之前泛藍陣營輕輕放過主張刺扁人士便是這種戰術的延續。鼓吹仇恨、暴力絕非言論自由。在加拿大,是刑事重罪。現在那些名嘴們難得嘴裏吐幾顆象牙,我們千萬不能因人廢言,積非成是,與過去的他們同流合污。喊打喊殺,是野蠻的行為。必須予以譴責。雖然最近的刺馬言論的尺度,是受到當年刺扁言論的激發,因此我對那些人予以同情。但是為了維護法治、民主、人權,以及社會的安定,我卻必須予以譴責。不譴責這種野蠻行徑,那就是只論立場,不論是非。這樣我們跟朝我們狂吠的瘋狗群有甚麼差別?

我們今天該做的是:看著馬政府如何處理這些刺馬言論。如果他們不選擇性辦案,仍舊認為這是言論自由,那我們就可以從「善」如流,「依法行事」,那時再發起全民刺馬運動,合情、合理,更加「合法」;如果他們真的依法嚴辦這些刺馬言論,那我們就該以此為本,以子之矛攻子之盾,用同樣的標準來檢視過去的刺扁言論,要求重啟調查。這樣才不至於犧牲臺灣的法治正義與社會的安定。

我們今天打造的,是臺灣的未來。要假高級,只要生就一隻嘴就可以了;要真高尚,還得做給天看。美國人的父母,用不著在乎臺灣的未來,可以胡作非為;疼惜這塊土地的人們,投鼠時當需忌器,法治是我們的「千金之子」,不能「死於盜賊」。









延伸閱讀:
我為什麼痛恨國民黨 - 寫給"中間"選民
紅瓦厝菜單
馬膺九考
可以叫人殺總統,不可以叫人殺總統的女兒?!
Man of la Mancha (I, Don Quixote) : 從俠到瞎
阿扁的罪
金恒煒專欄/「撲殺馬英九」會不會成全民運動?
1895年的撲殺
奴大欺主?江宜樺什麼東西?
千殺萬殺,馬屁不殺
屈肇康要血洗總統府,拿手上的槍往他馬的腦門上插下去

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假高級 vs 真高尚:刺馬案 就看政府怎麼「辦」

假高級 vs 真高尚:刺馬案 就看政府怎麼「辦」

原載於2010年3月22日自由時報

三月22日刺馬與刺耳一文中,朱達明先生點出了一個重點:「類似言論對台灣人不只是覺得刺耳而已,比刺馬還要更能撕裂族群、製造社會對立!」製造對立,到處放火,打烏賊戰正是國民黨流亡集團的一貫伎倆。從王清峰拒絕執行法定職責到臺北市拒付健保費,馬政府「違」法行事,一路走來,始終如一。這一切都無非是要破壞臺灣社會的民主法治。

之前泛藍陣營輕輕放過主張刺扁人士便是這種戰術的延續。鼓吹仇恨、暴力絕非言論自由。在加拿大,是刑事重罪。現在那些名嘴們難得嘴裏吐幾顆象牙,我們千萬不能因人廢言,積非成是,與過去的他們同流合污。喊打喊殺,是野蠻的行為。必須予以譴責。雖然最近的刺馬言論的尺度,是受到當年刺扁言論的激發,因此我對那些人予以同情。但是為了維護法治、民主、人權,以及社會的安定,我卻必須予以譴責。不譴責這種野蠻行徑,那就是只論立場,不論是非。這樣我們跟朝我們狂吠的瘋狗群有甚麼差別?

我們今天該做的是:看著馬政府如何處理這些刺馬言論。如果他們不選擇性辦案,仍舊認為這是言論自由,那我們就可以從「善」如流,「依法行事」,那時再發起全民刺馬運動,合情、合理,更加「合法」;如果他們真的依法嚴辦這些刺馬言論,那我們就該以此為本,以子之矛攻子之盾,用同樣的標準來檢視過去的刺扁言論,要求重啟調查。這樣才不至於犧牲臺灣的法治正義與社會的安定。

我們今天打造的,是臺灣的未來。要假高級,只要生就一隻嘴就可以了;要真高尚,還得做給天看。美國人的父母,用不著在乎臺灣的未來,可以胡作非為;疼惜這塊土地的人們,投鼠時當需忌器,法治是我們的「千金之子」,不能「死於盜賊」。









延伸閱讀:
我為什麼痛恨國民黨 - 寫給"中間"選民
紅瓦厝菜單
馬膺九考
可以叫人殺總統,不可以叫人殺總統的女兒?!
Man of la Mancha (I, Don Quixote) : 從俠到瞎
阿扁的罪
金恒煒專欄/「撲殺馬英九」會不會成全民運動?
1895年的撲殺
奴大欺主?江宜樺什麼東西?
千殺萬殺,馬屁不殺
屈肇康要血洗總統府,拿手上的槍往他馬的腦門上插下去

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Tuesday 23 March 2010

Eclipse Android Installation Requires org.eclipse.gef

Eclipse Android Installation Requires org.eclipse.gef

在Eclipse裡安裝Android SDK時,因需要org.eclipse.gef而失敗。

Download and install the following packages from Eclipse web site:
  1. Eclipse Modeling Framework (EMF, XSD InfoSet, SDO)
    Name: EMF
    URL: http://download.eclipse.org/modeling/emf/updates/releases/
  2. Graphical Editing Framework
    Name: GEF SDK
    URL: http://download.eclipse.org/tools/gef/updates/releases/
  3. Data Tools Platform
    Name: DTP
    URL: http://download.eclipse.org/datatools/updates
  4. Web App Developers
    Name: Web Tools Platform (WTP)
    URL: http://download.eclipse.org/webtools/updates/
Problem: After selecting a site and no package shows up.
My Solution: Exit Eclipse, and start again. ie. clicking [Yes] to restart Eclipse did not work for me.

Stupid Mistake Made:
Once during the installation, at the page for agreeing the licence agreement, I tried many ways to get the greyed out [Next] button to reactivate. It turned out that it will never be activated. The button activated, by selecting the agreeing radio button, was [Finish]
Duh!

Install Android SDK:
  1. Download Android SDK from: http://developer.android.com/sdk/index.html
  2. Expand the package into a directory
  3. From Eclipse, [Window]->[Preferences]->[Android], browse to and select the directory containing Android SDK.
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Monday 22 March 2010

Eat the Music/吃音樂

之前覺得王菲唱的傳奇的編曲太花俏,可惜了她的音色。現在請客官們品嘗一下上腹:

テルーの唄 (歌集バージョン) 手嶌葵:

“食材”夠新鮮、美味時,直接欣賞就行了,連伴奏都免了。前半段直接沙西米;後半段換個口味清蒸:有伴奏時,也只是意思意思地點綴一下。樂器如薑如蔥,只在襯托那美妙的歌聲。

替王菲編曲的那隻不知道是沒水準?對王菲沒信心?還是對觀眾的品味沒信心?那和聲直如炸粉,裹著王菲的歌聲。請嘗嘗糖醋魚:

不告訴你這是林青霞,誰能聽得出這是林青霞?用和聲把她的聲音蓋起來,就好比裹上炸粉,澆上糖醋。糖醋蓋掉原味,口感只覺炸粉的酥脆。面目全非,直至不識本來面目,方能入口。

傳奇的編曲,硬是把王菲的歌聲當林青霞的給糖醋了。

不好意思借了凱特布希的歌名當標題,就讓她壓軸吧?

Kate Bush - Eat the Music:

Eat the Music Lyrics
Artist(Band):Kate Bush

Split me open
With devotion
You put your hands in
And rip my heart out
Eat the music

Does he conceal
What he really feels?
He's a woman at heart
And I love him for that
Let's split him open

Like a pomegranate
Insides out
All is revealed
Not only women bleed

Take the stone out
Of the mango
You put it in your mouth
And pull a plum out

Take a papaya
You like a guava?
Grab a banana
And a sultana
Rip them to pieces
With sticky fingers
Split the banana
Crush the sultana

Split 'em open
With devotion
You put your hands in
And rip their hearts out

Like a pomegranate
Insides out
He's a woman at heart
And love him for that

Take a papaya
You like a guavva?
Grab a banana
And a sultana
Rip 'em to pieces
With sticky fingers
Split the banana
Crush the sultana

All emotion
And with devotion
You put your hands in
What ya thinking?
What am I singing?
A song of seeds
The food of love
Eat the music

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Sunday 21 March 2010

Dirty Bad Joke: The Most Offensive Song Ever!

Warning: EXTREMELY OFFENSIVE CONTENT!!!!

Howdy Ho!
The Virgin Mary was sleeping
When Angel Gabriel appeared.
He said, "you are to be the virgin mother,"
And Mary thought that was weird.
[Mary said, "I'm not a virgin
I blew a guy last year"]
But then, Gabriel said to Mary,
"My child, have no fear:

["'Cause you can suck all the dick you want]
And still be a Virgin, Mary.
[You can suck all the dick you want,]
And still not be considered flawed.
[Though, Mary, you went to town,
and sucked some semen down,]
You're still still a virgin
In the eyes of god!"

There was no room at the Inn
When Mary and Joseph did arrive.
They were so very tired, you see,
[and Mary had to offer him a bribe.]
Said she had no money,
[and they had no place to sleep.]
Gabriel appeared to Mary,
And told her not to weep.

["'Cause you can suck all the dick you want]
And still be a Virgin, Mary.
[you can suck all the dick you want]
And still be the mother of Christ.
If there's no room at the Inn,
then it's not considered a sin
[to suck a dick to get a room for free!"]

That's right..

And three wisemen did appear
Bearing gifts of myrrh and such.
They said that they had followed a star,
And missed a woman's touch.
[Mary thought that she might pleasure them,
But could not take them to bed.]
But, again, Gabriel appeared to her
And this is what he said...

["You can suck all the dick you want,]
And still be a Virgin, Mary.
[You can suck all the dick you want,]
Everyone in the nation.
[Fellatio ain't no sin,
So go and blow those three wise men!]
And you'll still be a virgin,
['Cause there ain't no penetration!"]

[You can suck all the dick you want,]
And still be a Virgin, Mary!
[The donkey, or the ox and the lamb]
And even the little drummer boy.
Folks will remember your name quick!
[They'll say, "Damn, that bitch can suck a dick"!]
['Cause sucking dick]
Brings peace on earth and joy.
['Cause sucking dick]
Brings peace on earth and joy.

[Mary, you can suck my dick!]
[laughter]

延伸閱讀:
Faith Love Kindergarten/信愛托兒所

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冷笑話:五兄弟

以前同事那兒聽來的:

兄弟五人。某日老三小解,老五不小心撞見,回過頭來對著老四說:“老四!老三老二老大!”

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Friday 19 March 2010

馬膺九考:阿告!告恁祖嬤!

馬膺九探望周夢蝶,自己說他的名字應該叫馬膺九而非馬英九:


宋寧宗嘉定二年(西元1209)陸游八十五歲的年尾,寫了這首〈示兒〉:

死去原知萬事空,但悲不見九州同。
王師北定中原日,家祭毋忘告乃翁。

-- 出處:讀詩拾慧:陸游 之〈示兒〉


邈雲漢曰:“王師北定中原日?!”完蛋了啦!兩岸和平協議簽不成了啦:就算他們不打過來,馬大總統都要打過去...


以下摘自柏楊版:資治通鑒16-王師北定中原日裡,柏楊寫的內容簡介:

陸游詩:「遺民淚盡胡塵裡,南望王師又一年!」如果有一天,能消滅盤據黃河以北的篡奪者或侵略者,反攻復國,陸游即令已經逝世,也盼望子孫在祭祀的時候,稟告於他。於是在另一首詩中,他說:「王師北定中原日,家祭勿忘告乃翁。」慈悲之心,故國之思,令人哀傷。

不過,我奇怪的是,陸游先生好像從沒有讀過《資治通鑑》,就在大分裂時代的四、五、六,三個世紀中,被驅逐到黃河以南的各個王朝,為了「解救」胡塵裡受苦受難的遺民父老,曾發出大大小小十二次的「王師北定中原日」的捷報,卻都是「告乃翁」的「家祭」還沒有擺好。當初流淚歡迎王師的遺民父老,已被王師的迫害逼反,參與敵人陣營,反擊王師,王師不得不抱頭鼠竄。

我們用劉裕作為說明,是隨手拈來,劉裕和其他十一位統帥一樣,實際上並不在乎什麼遺民父老,只是企圖用遺民父老的血,增加自己肩膀上的將星。像另外一位可敬的將軍,不過為了幾個大梨。劉裕的野心是其中最大的一位,他瞧不起將軍,更瞧不起大梨,他的目的是在奪取晉帝國政權前,創造一個足以使人民喪膽的功勞,作為跳板。問題是,劉裕建立起來的南宋帝國,比腐敗的晉帝國,更為腐敗。

千千萬萬人,只為了野心家一人,慷慨的「為國捐驅」。即令勉強祭拜,陸游先生地下也只能聽到哭泣。同時,請讀者先生注意,劉裕雖建立了一個短命的帝國,但卻建立了一個長命的陰魂不散的「惡婆媳文化」。


邈雲漢曰:話都不是我說的,不要打我...

延伸閱讀:


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馬膺九考:阿告!告恁祖嬤!

馬膺九探望周夢蝶,自己說他的名字應該叫馬膺九而非馬英九:


宋寧宗嘉定二年(西元1209)陸游八十五歲的年尾,寫了這首〈示兒〉:

死去原知萬事空,但悲不見九州同。
王師北定中原日,家祭毋忘告乃翁。

-- 出處:讀詩拾慧:陸游 之〈示兒〉


邈雲漢曰:“王師北定中原日?!”完蛋了啦!兩岸和平協議簽不成了啦:就算他們不打過來,馬大總統都要打過去...


以下摘自柏楊版:資治通鑒16-王師北定中原日裡,柏楊寫的內容簡介:

陸游詩:「遺民淚盡胡塵裡,南望王師又一年!」如果有一天,能消滅盤據黃河以北的篡奪者或侵略者,反攻復國,陸游即令已經逝世,也盼望子孫在祭祀的時候,稟告於他。於是在另一首詩中,他說:「王師北定中原日,家祭勿忘告乃翁。」慈悲之心,故國之思,令人哀傷。

不過,我奇怪的是,陸游先生好像從沒有讀過《資治通鑑》,就在大分裂時代的四、五、六,三個世紀中,被驅逐到黃河以南的各個王朝,為了「解救」胡塵裡受苦受難的遺民父老,曾發出大大小小十二次的「王師北定中原日」的捷報,卻都是「告乃翁」的「家祭」還沒有擺好。當初流淚歡迎王師的遺民父老,已被王師的迫害逼反,參與敵人陣營,反擊王師,王師不得不抱頭鼠竄。

我們用劉裕作為說明,是隨手拈來,劉裕和其他十一位統帥一樣,實際上並不在乎什麼遺民父老,只是企圖用遺民父老的血,增加自己肩膀上的將星。像另外一位可敬的將軍,不過為了幾個大梨。劉裕的野心是其中最大的一位,他瞧不起將軍,更瞧不起大梨,他的目的是在奪取晉帝國政權前,創造一個足以使人民喪膽的功勞,作為跳板。問題是,劉裕建立起來的南宋帝國,比腐敗的晉帝國,更為腐敗。

千千萬萬人,只為了野心家一人,慷慨的「為國捐驅」。即令勉強祭拜,陸游先生地下也只能聽到哭泣。同時,請讀者先生注意,劉裕雖建立了一個短命的帝國,但卻建立了一個長命的陰魂不散的「惡婆媳文化」。


邈雲漢曰:話都不是我說的,不要打我...

延伸閱讀:


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Thursday 18 March 2010

可以叫人殺總統,不可以叫人殺總統的女兒?!

留言「撲殺」馬千金 警帶回一男子
網路貼文對總統女兒不利 男子到案





刑事局交叉比對後,今天凌晨傳喚從事通訊業50歲的陳姓男子到案,依煽惑罪嫌法辦。

怎麼沒人傳喚黏粘、送出獄到案?

您可千萬別傻傻地去叫人殺馬膺九。叫人殺陳水扁不會有事,叫人殺馬膺九肯定會有事。這就是差別待遇、雙重標準。這就是不平事。如果扁馬對調的話,八成還會有被「馬扁」而故作大義滅親裝的假道學弱智一族條件反射地吠曰:「省籍情結!」

延伸閱讀:
馬膺九考
阿扁的罪
撲殺美國人馬唯中馬元中--自導自演啦!
起初他們追殺陳水扁 ,我不是陳水扁 ,我沒有說話;
Man of la Mancha (I, Don Quixote) : 從俠到瞎
我為什麼痛恨國民黨 - 寫給"中間"選民

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Wednesday 17 March 2010

Man of la Mancha (I, Don Quixote) : 從俠到瞎

Man of la Mancha (I, Don Quixote) : 從俠到瞎

Man of la Mancha (I, Don Quixote)

Lyrics

CERVANTES
May I set the stage? I shall impersonate a man.
Come, enter into my imagination and see him!
His name... Alonso Quijana... a country squire,
no longer young... bony, hollow-faced... eyes
that burn with the fire of inner vision. Being
retired, he has much time for books. He studies
them from morn to night and often through the
night as well. And all he reads oppresses him...
fills him with indignation at man's murderous
ways toward man. And he conceives the strangest
project ever imagined... to become a knight-errant
and sally forth into the world to right all
wrongs. No longer shall he be plain Alonso Quijana...
but a dauntless knight known as -
Don Quixote de La Mancha!

DON QUIXOTE
Hear me now
Oh thou bleak and unbearable world,
Thou art base and debauched as can be;
And a knight with his banners all bravely unfurled
Now hurls down his gauntlet to thee!
I am I, Don Quixote,
The Lord of La Mancha,
My destiny calls and I go,
And the wild winds of fortune
Will carry me onward,
Oh whithersoever they blow.
Whithersoever they blow,
Onward to glory I go!

SANCHO PANZA
I'm Sancho! Yes, I'm Sancho!
I'll follow my master till the end.
I'll tell all the world proudly
I'm his squire! I'm his friend!

DON QUIXOTE
Hear me, heathens and wizards
And serpents of sin!
All your dastardly doings are past,
For a holy endeavor is now to begin
And virtue shall triumph at last!

(Don Quixote and Sancho Panza mount their horses and set out along a road)

DON QUIXOTE
I am I, Don Quixote,
The Lord of la Mancha,
My destiny calls and I go,
And the wild winds of fortune
Will carry me onward,
Oh whithersoever they blow!
SANCHO
I'm Sancho! Yes, I'm Sancho!
I'll follow my master till the end.
I'll tell all the world proudly
I'm his squire! I'm his friend!

DON QUIXOTE, SANCHO
Whithersoever they blow,
Onward to glory I {we} go!


檢視較大的地圖

Once in Tonoto, I saw a car heading east to the intersection of Steeles Ave. E. and Kenndy Road. Its license plate reads "La Mancha." The driver appeared to be an Asian young man.

曾經我在加拿大多倫多屎滴油屎東道(Steeles Ave. E.)上,看到一輛轎車朝東向乾奶弟路(Kennedy Road)方向開。車牌號是"La Mancha"。駕駛是位很有氣質的年輕東方帥哥。跟他的車牌比起來,六、八一族就成了財大氣粗,缺腦袋、創意的暴發戶了。

十年磨一劍,霜刃未曾試,
今日把示君,誰有不平事?

-- 唐‧賈島:劍客

那個帥哥看來是個手無縛雞之力的文弱書生。他十年磨的那一劍,想來當是心劍。

時代變了:以筆作劍,現代的大俠們不再需要「以武犯禁」就能「行俠仗義」。說起「行俠仗義」,接下去經常是「鋤強扶弱」。不管有理無理,強者能照顧自己,不需要大俠們去錦上添花;而有理的弱者,才需要大俠們拔刀相助。因此,濟弱扶傾的是「大俠」;而偎大邊西瓜的,叫做「鷹犬」!

當年崇貞皇帝凌遲袁崇煥。如果袁拒捕叛亂,有武林人士去把他給劈了,那還有可能跟「俠」字沾點邊兒,起碼還能辯說是中了靼子的反間計;而當袁都已經被推出午門,準備凌遲了,北京城的百姓一湧而上,搶袁的肉吃。就算袁是罪有應得,也不差他們這一口,最多不過是打落水狗。而現在歷史還給袁清白了,愚民們打算用幾代子孫的報應來償還他們對袁的冤屈?還得清嗎?不出來咬上那一口會死嗎?還是他們都早就因此而絕子絕孫了?或是那些愚民都給本來被袁擋在關外的靼子宰光了?這種廢物真要死淨死絕了,未嘗不是以他們自己的方式為人類的進化做貢獻?

在紅樓夢裡看到有人打太平拳。那時覺得古人卑鄙。但現在卻覺得現代的臺灣人也沒好到哪兒去。

在一本過期的讀者文摘裡讀到這段話Geoffery Taylor M. G. W.:「世人可劃分為兩大類:一種是那些為了自己信念可而必須冒險、招尤、甚至做出犧牲的人,另一種是那些明知放高言論也不需要承擔後果的人。」

什麼叫弊案?高捷是弊案嗎?詐湖線不是?貓纜不是?檢驗的標準一樣嗎?有幾個人知道高捷不是弊案?請看看這篇文章:他清白了!也走了!

再看看TVBS 2100全民開講的網站:http://www.tvbs.com.tw/tvbs2100/,還在拿高捷「弊案」說嘴。

有理、無理怎麼分?最簡單的辦法,顧名思義:就是公平。劍客問的是:「誰有不平事?」什麼是「不平」?用句流行語:就是雙重標準。

李慶安在立法院行使的「職權」如果成立,那她就是貪污;如果她不是貪污,那她在立法院投的票就要全作廢;如果她不算貪污,而她投的票又不算廢票,那就是「雙重標準」,就是「不平」。

對一件事的反應,可以看得出一個人的智慧與道德修養。

你,怎麼說?

「陶潛詩喜說荊軻,想見停雲發浩歌。
吟到恩仇心事涌,江湖俠骨恐無多。」

-- 清‧龔自珍《已亥雜詩

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自打嘴巴的藍霉
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阿扁的罪

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Tuesday 16 March 2010

恭迎楊前署長志良先生回任:千歲!千歲!千千歲…

堅辭!媒體追問 楊志良:叫我前署長


電影”夜宴” 裡的”雪豹”是什麼意思?

@07:14


太常卿:皇上如果不喜歡這雪山玄豹,臣即可差人給換了它。

厲帝:喜歡!這畜生,風雪天躲山洞里里舔他的玄毛,平日里就光燦燦奔出來,識時務,是個靈獸。

太常卿:臣卻以為雕虎更為妥貼,易經云:「大人虎變,君子豹變」皇上是大人,有王者氣象。

厲帝:幽州節度使裴洪,你怎麼不說話?

裴洪:我在想該不該將這雪山玄豹賜給太常大人?

厲帝:為何?

裴洪:他識時務啊!

厲帝:裴洪建議甚好, 朕就將這雪山玄豹,就將屏風賜予太常卿。

歹戲拖棚-楊志良留任 辭職漲價秀?


健保鐵漢楊志良留任 力拚二代健保

「新」任衛署長楊志良 上任首務「追北市健保費」


延伸閱讀:
政績回顧:歡送楊前署長志良先生一路好走,安心上路!
從大麻到帶骨牛肉
辭職漲價秀 拿人民當柴燒?

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Monday 15 March 2010

Taiwanese Angel Hair Pasta/鳳邑麵線

Taiwanese Angel Hair Pasta/鳳邑麵線

Rating: Pilgrimage
評等:朝聖

Business Hours/營業時間:14:00-19:30

看了柯以柔的鳳中奇緣後去的。電視裡的地圖有誤:說是在安寧街跟五甲一路交叉口附近。地址雖是安寧街,但其實要從五甲一路轉國光路進去。

從五甲一路、國光路口向西沿國光路走:


這家店很誇張:排的隊誇張地長;東西誇張地好吃;料誇張地爆多!

如果您怕排隊的話,至少先等上一個月以後再去。外帶才需要排隊。內用的話,有空位就可以先坐。內用等待時間約20分鐘。

最近店家有貼公告:說是為了維持售價,改自助式,內用、外帶,一律排隊。

This is another classic Taiwanese local specialty. I heard about them from a TV program. The line up is quite long. If you do not want to wait, do not go there for at least another month.

The line up is for take outs. For dinning in, just sit yourselves. My wait was around 20 minutes.

Once upon a time, the line up was this long/曾經誇張長的隊


House specialty: Taiwanese Angel Hair Pasta/主角:麵線

您倒是給評評理:要是把「配料」撈光,那這碗裡還能剩多少麵線?這樣喧賓奪主還能叫麵線嗎?虧她們的招牌上還敢用「麵線」二字!考慮檢舉她們打不實廣告ing(冷笑話)


Pork Intestine Soup/四神湯:湯稠似粥

後來又品嚐了他們的米糕與肉圓。他們的肉圓是油炸的。本人向來死忠清蒸肉圓,但吃到他們的肉圓時,要我說還是清蒸的好吃時,居然會有點心虛……

強力譴責鳳中奇緣部落格中奶茶沒有實證就任意污蔑的行為。這種行為模式就跟當年的連宋之亂一般的下流!

我在等待時店家的態度非常親切,且頻頻為我的「久」候致歉。她們是很典型的臺灣老實人。


檢視較大的地圖

延伸閱讀:
Oyster Donut/鳳山中華街夜市蚵嗲、肉圓
鳳中奇緣
鳳山美食節票選

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