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Thursday 28 June 2012

40 Signs You Are Canadian


For #3, the version I have heard was:

You understand the phrase, "Would you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my poutine on my toque."


40 Signs You Are Canadian

This is the sign
This is the Canadians responce
And this is the Americans responce to the Canadians responce
**And before I start WW8 I just want to mention that this is not intended to insult anyone, even Canadians LOL**
40 SIGNS THAT YOU MAY BE CANADIAN:
1. You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines.
We like to add words to things!
We usually show movies with Canadians lined up at the police station
2. You're not offended by the term, "Homo Milk"
Canadians are openly gay (not all of them) reffering here to Homogenized milk of course.
I knew there wasn't right about yall
3. You understand the phrase, "Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my poutine"
lol.... serviette is a napkin & poutine is a mix of fries , gravy & cheese , you've probably heard of it!
No I've never heard of fries mixed with gravy and cheese...blaaaaghhhh!!!
4. You eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars.
We love our chocolate
Chocolate is made by Americans
5. You drink pop, not soda.
It's a Canadian thing , we like to be different. 
I grew up in Ohio where we were being held prisoner by the Canadians and it was called pop. I live in North Carolina now where it's called soda. I prefer soda.
6. You know what it means to be on pogey.
What the FU*K!?!?! 
Oh come on you know you ride pogeys all the time. Probubly with a Mountie.
7. You know that a mickey and 2-4's mean "Party at the camp, eh!!"
LMAO!!! OH YEAH!! 2-4 is a 24 pack of beer. 
Personally, I was picturing a party where "Hey Mickey you're so fine..." is blasted on the sterio 2-4 times over until everyone runs out screaming. That's how Canadians party.
8. You can drink legally while still a 'teen.
Legal age is 19 , 18 in some provinces! WOOHOO!! 
Kiss my legal butt...hahaha!
9. You talk about the weather with strangers and friends alike.
Don't ask!
You know you do. It's all in code. Planning to overtake the United States in the year 2010....
10. You don't know or care about the fuss with Cuba, it's just a cheap place to travel with good cigars and no Americans.
LOL!! No comments!! 
...with the help of the Cubans. Cigars my butt!
11. When there is a social problem, you turn to your government to fix it instead of telling them to stay out of it.
Let's stay away from this one!
Ok...
12. You're not sure if the leader of your nation has EVER had sex and don't want to know if he has!
LOL Oh you know what this means!!
It's yalls fault!!!! Pairing up with the Cubans to produce cigars for intern sluts and sex crazed American presidents!!!!
13. You get milk in bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs.
That's right we have three types of milk "containers" god only know why!
Bags?!?! Dude!!!! What kind of bonehead idea is that?!
14. Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway.
HAHA!! The northern pike is actually a fish (a big , long fish) up here!
Uhhhh...I'm speechless
15. You drive on a highway, not a freeway.
16. You sit on a couch not a chesterfield - that is some small town in Quebec!
hehe! 
I refer to it as a couch
17. You know what a Robertson screwdriver is.
I do?!?!?!?
Dude, neither do I
18. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
I actually have $25 of it in my glove compartment (as we would say in Canada...the dash!)
Yeah yall need tire money with as much as you tear up our interstates...haha just messin!
19. You know that Thrills are something to chew and "taste like soap".
???? 
Some people get cheap thrills by getting sexual excitement from making others eat soap....leave it to the Canadians
20. You know that Mounties "don't always look like that"
They don't always wear those bright red uniforms!! THEY DON'T!!
Oh nevermind..I was gonna say something along the lines of horny Mounties stripping down for wild bears or something...but like I said! Nevermind!
21. You dismiss all beers under 6% as "for children and the elderly".
Our beer is not for wusses 6% baby!!! 
I heard of something called Absinth that is legal in Canada but illegal in the US. What the hell is up with that? Yall get to have all the fun!
22. You know that the Friendly Giant isn't a vegetable product line.
He was a wrestler!
Never heard of...
23. You know that Casey and Finnegan are not a Celtic musical group.
They were part of the "MR. Dressup show" That was a good show!
Oh god...
24. You participated in "Participaction".
This is a dumb-ass fitness program crap on TV!!!
Haha I thought it was some kindergarten class for Canadians
25. You have an Inuit carving by your bedside with the rationale, "What's good enough protection for the Prime Minister is good enough for me".
What!?! 
Dude ya know you do! Don't deny it!
26. You wonder why there isn't a 5 dollar coin yet.
Oh it's coming!!! We have $1 & $2 coins so the $5 isn't far away!
GREAT! More Canadian money I can't use here...
27. Unlike any international assassin/terrorist/spy in the world, you don't possess a Canadian passport.
lol 
I don't get it...
28. You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the missing 'u's from labor, honor, and color.
We write it , Labour , Honour & Colour..weird eh!? 
Yeah! What the hell is up with that? I get all confused seeing it that way.
29. You know the French equivalents of "free", "prize" and "no sugar added", thanks to your extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.
How true it is!! Go Fruit loops! 
Well we got you beat on that one. Our packaging contains English French, and Spanish. I'm trilingual! Damnit
30. You are excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.
We all know that doesn't happen often!! So we do get all tingly!! 
Wow...I mean wow...hehehe
31. You make a mental note to talk about it at work the next day.
LOL (See previous)
Dude!
32. You can do all the hand actions to Sharon, Lois and Bram's "Skin-a-ma-rinky-dinky-doo" opus.
OH GOD NO!! Let's not do this!! They don't exist anymore by the way!!!
HEY!!! Now even I grew up with that one! Ok I was 12. But I still remember!!! "I love you in the morning and in the afternoon...."
33. You can eat more than one maple sugar candy without feeling nauseous.
YEAH MAPLE!!!!!! It's a Canadian thing eh!?! 
I'm nauseous already
34. You were mad when "The Beachcombers" were taken off the air.
I'm too young to remember that!
Me too
35. You know what a toque is.
It's a winter hat people!!!!! 
No silly it's a wrench. Oh wait..that's a torque
36. You have some memento of Doug and Bob.
Doug and Bob who!!?!?!? 
I think it refers back to #2 about gay Canadians
37. You admit Rich Little is Canadian and you're glad Jerry Lewis is not.
LOL!! Self-explanatory!
I think this refers back to #2 too
38. You know Toronto is not a province.
That's right!! Toronto is a CITY in the PROVINCE of Ontario!! 
Who's the dumbass who didn't know that?"
39. You never miss "Coaches Corner".
Good 'ol hockey night in Canada with Don Cherry!! God bless him!! 
God Bless America!
40. Back bacon and Kraft Dinner are two of your favourite food groups.
It is , it really is!! 
All I can picture in my head is fat back and Kraft Macaroni and Cheese

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